Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
