its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
pray to the hookup gods
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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