white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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