My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
