i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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