There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
