do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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