We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
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