i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
