First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
