Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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