i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
