Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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