I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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