You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
