Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
