one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
