In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
