Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
