eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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