Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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