she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
