Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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