I'm drive I can fine osifer
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
