It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just gift wrapped bread.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
