pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My bed smells like the plague
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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