I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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