home. puking in laundry basket.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
