I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
