A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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