just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
