Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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