that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
