His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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