North Korea, Best Korea!
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
