Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
