I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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