please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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