Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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