: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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