Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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