I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
