he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
