My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
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