ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
