idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
