Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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