where am i from again
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
