If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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