Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize