someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
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I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
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I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
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