Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
