It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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