Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
