yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
